Should i settle for him

He was Mr Average. But she was over the highs and lows of relationships with her usual type. So is there benefit in giving more credit to average? Clinical psychologist Gemma Cribb says women settle more than men. More women are choosing not to have kids, and society can't cope. I fell in love with being single after my divorce. Here's why.

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Story from Relationships. Most people are terrified of "settling" in their relationships. As told to Cristiana Bedei. There was no magic or butterflies. We were in the same group of friends at university and we had flirted a bit, but he was way more interested in me than I was in him. So I was just kind of messing around and seeing where that would go, when we ended up sleeping together. He was not my usual type, to be honest.

Also, I was 25 and pretty much committed to finding a male version of myself. Somehow, what started as a casual one-night stand naturally progressed into a relationship that I wasn't sure about for a long time, with people around me asking: Do you think this could work? It was pretty unsettling, the way all new and unexpected things are, but I was also over the highs and lows of my previous relationships and wanted to give this a chance.

It felt comfortable, but it was also very ordinary. Where was the crazy, romantic head-over-heels passion? Our sex life is compatible and fun. So—what do you think? Write to Answer Queen?

Solid 8. I can already feel the antennae rising in All the Single Ladies who think they would kill for an 8. Good Enough. At least in theory. I have a hunch you might agree, too. I admire you for actively thinking about this. What I can say is this: In order to get over your insecurity about this situation, you need to take action rather than just agonize. Start by talking to him. Instead, initiate a discussion about how he sees the future.

Maybe, since you said he feels about the same as you do, taking a break could be palatable to you both. Six months off—possibly even with no contact at all? I know a couple who was in this situation. Eventually, she, an actress, got in her car and headed west. He, who had always been cavalier-ish about the relationship, found himself devastated without her. They needed to see what it was like to lose each other before they could see, and appreciate, what they had. They took that risk, and it paid off.

I hope the same payoff is in the cards for you—whether with 8.